139888
Joke of the Day
"Don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day. I repeat, don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day."
Next Joke
"I'm lazy, but not 'The guy who named blackbirds' lazy."
"First rule of Water Boarding Club: 1. You will talk"
"I'm late to this meeting cause I have a boner and can't get out of my car"
"I was in Nigeria browsing Tinder the other day It said ""There are no available girls in your area."" (Thanks Boko Haram)"
"What do you say to a crazy person who's talking to themselves? Hey, the person you're talking to said to give me a few bucks."
"What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for thanksgiving dinner? Unlimited twerky"
"""I'm having a public meltdown!!"" - A Snowman, maybe."
"Why shouldn't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything."
"I saw my friend's girl sleeping with another man in the army but didn't tell him... It was a private affair."