139888
Joke of the Day
"Don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day. I repeat, don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day."
Next Joke
"Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident."
"I wanted to be a feminist for Halloween... ...but a fat suit is out of my budget."
"Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming ""Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"""
"I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens."
"My therapist diagnosed me with oppositional defiant disorder but I told them they were wrong."
"I worry that people who say ""I'll sleep when I'm dead"" may have missed a Science class or two."
"Did you hear about the pagan children's physician? He's the wiccapediatrician."
"jared from Subway What's jared's favorite sub? A junior with meatballs!"
"I hate when I'm trying to do shit and I have a wife"