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Joke of the Day

"""Almost there."" - liars"

"6: Dad, why do you have so many nicknames for me? *I break down, no longer able to cover up that I can't remember my son's name"

"Venus Williams has blamed her first round exit at Wimbledon to the balls not bouncing correctly. May I suggest for her to try some better fitting underwear?"

"*hostage situation* Our FIRST demand: we want more bullets because we ran out... NO DON'T COME IN HERE"

"I like my women as I like my classical regression model estimators: consistent, efficient, and fucking unbiased."

"If Jesus were alive today...what type of car would he drive? A chrysler (Christler)"

"9: What are you going to be for Halloween dad? me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be? me: Mad"

"Whoever said ""The best things in life are free"" obviously knew a very unsuccessful coke dealer."

"I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that."

"What do you call a hoe that you use to stir a fire. An ash hoe."