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Joke of the Day

"*hostage situation* Our FIRST demand: we want more bullets because we ran out... NO DON'T COME IN HERE"

"LOWERCASE IS FOR THE LOWER CLASS That is an example of a capitalist."

"Plum Hair Jokes THESE JOKES ARE BASED ON GIRLS WITH PLUM HAIR IF YOU DONT KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT PLUM HAIR YOU DYE YOUR HAIR TO GET PLUM SO.... ENJOY"

"If you worked for a tarp company your unveiling would be a cover up."

"I've always said that life is a lot like doing laundry There's a lot less bleeding if you separate the colors from the whites."

"Of course Jesus saves. He's Jewish."

"[speed dating] DATE: ding ME: did u just make the ding sound with ur mouth DATE: no ME: we have 4 minutes left DATE: *louder this time* ding"

"dating tip #4: when meeting her brother for the 1st time make sure when he goes for the handshake u kiss him on the lips to assert dominance"

"What do you call four Mexicans drowning? Cuatro sinko"

"Twitter should have "" Throwing tomato"" button."