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Joke of the Day

"I like my women as I like my classical regression model estimators: consistent, efficient, and fucking unbiased."

"If you call a foreigner who wants to be Japanese a weeaboo and a foreigner who wants to be British a teeaboo what do you call a person who wants to be a Canadian? A Caribou"

"What is the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit and the dog, pants."

"What's a traffic cop's favorite kind of sweater? A pull over."

"""IT'S A BOY!"" I shouted. ""A BOY! I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY!"" And with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel..."

"1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil."

"What happens if you don't pay after an exorcism? You'll get repossessed!"

"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night, I'm not letting you out!"

"Writers who become addicted to pseudonyms have to join Anonymous Anonymous."

"Why do children have middle names? So they *know for sure* that they are in deep shit."