99902

Joke of the Day

"What's the best part about living in Flint, Michigan? Leaded gasoline is pretty cheep!"

"ME: I hate him with 1/16th of the fibers of my being GUY: Not every fiber? ME: I hate alot of people. I'm not wasting all my fibers on 1 guy"

"Movies led me to believe there would be a whole lot more unlocked cars just sitting around with the keys tucked away in the overhead visor."

"What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict? One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines."

"Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Elephant Hunter I used to hunt elephant but had to quit.. Carrying the decoys got to heavy."

"I poured my root beer... ... into a square cup, now I'm left with only beer."

"Robin Williams It's a shame about robin Williams, but it's his own Damn fault. He should have listened to tinkerbell when she said ""think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts"""

"Prisoner:*strapped into chair* Flip the switch & fry me. Guard: Oh, we're not electrocuting you... *college kid w/ acoustic guitar walks in*"

"""OH MY SWEET GOD BE CAREFUL. OH- OH MY DEAr LORD GOD. HOW? HOW??"" -me watching gymnastics"