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Joke of the Day

"Finally watched an episode of America's Got Talent and I disagree."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You may think R, but a pirates first love will always be the C."

"[OC] Why did Caitlyn Jenner lose custody rights of her kids? Her kids couldn't see her anymore, she was a trans-parent."

"What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes? Vans of der Waals"

"Procrastinators Unite! Tomorrow"

"Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long? Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter."

"Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it."

"[sees someone use multiple contradictory excuses to compel faith-based behavior] perhaps i can reason you out of this using history and laws"

"How do you sum up a cashew? In a nutshell!"

"What is wrong with the number 6.9? There is a period in the middle."