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Joke of the Day

"How do you sum up a cashew? In a nutshell!"

"What do you do to a blind, deaf, dumb girl after raping her? You break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."

"Odin is a king, Thor got his gender switched to a woman, Disney owns Marvel. So Thor is....A DISNEY PRINCESS KINDA!"

"Coming on valentines day. Fifty shades of grey. There won't be a dry seat in the cinema."

"The airport lady at passport control saw I was American & warned me there were no McDonald's past security. I feel very profiled & grateful."

"When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, ""DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"" People always clap when she wakes up."

"What do you call the removal of a fence? Defence"

"A horse walked into a bar... ...several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger of the situation."

"So, two muffins are sitting in an oven.... So two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other, ""Man, its hot in here."" The other muffin replied, ""OH MY GOSH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"If you see an Apple store getting robbed.... Does that make you an iWitness?"