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Joke of the Day

"When I was younger, my parents used to make me go stay with my grandparents at the weekend And it was so cold in that cemetery!"

"What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common? They're always rebooting."

"What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder? I've heard of it but don't know what it means?"

"My friend died when she saw a wild ox wearing a knitted jumper. It was a Cardi Yak arrest."

"Obama is a lot like college Everyone wants four more years, but nobody wants to pay for it."

"Dinner with Mom: Are these real people you're talking about or are they from the internet?"

"*CAN'T OPEN THE PICKLE JAR* SHERLOCK: (suspiciously) Moriarty..."

"Allergies I have allergies to Pollen. I just realized that's plant sperm. Now when people ask ""What are you allergic to?"" and can tell them Plant Spern"

"What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common? If you're not careful, you can pop a ball."

"My phone knows the word ""giveth"" but not the word ""fuck."" Perfectly useful for speaking to knights but not for describing what they did."