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Joke of the Day

"If a cat won an Oscar what would he get? An a-cat-emy award."

"How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To move out of range of North Korea's long ranged missiles."

"I know they don't recommend ibuprofen during pregnancy but I needed something for the hangovers."

"I found this joke on the news when I went to America... His name is Donald Trump."

"Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas."

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call her and tell her all about it."

"Interview: ""What is your biggest weakness"" Guy: ""Honesty"" Interviewer: ""I don't believe honesty is a weakness"" Guy: ""I don't give a f*** about what you believe"""

"When they start with the punchline. How do you know if your friend is a bad comedian?"

"Did you hear about the new winter resort that caters exclusively to men with erectile disfunction? It's called Lake Flaccid."