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Joke of the Day

"When they start with the punchline. How do you know if your friend is a bad comedian?"

"I will punch you in the face. OK not really - but I will roll my eyes at you, hard."

"Why are aspirins white? Because they actually work."

"A man asked Hitler "" Would you kill a jew for 8 pieces of gold? "" Hitler said : Nein."

"Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into twitter."

"You don't need Crossfit if you have to get to the mailbox and back whilst avoiding mosquitoes the size of chihuahuas."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? He really had loco-motives."

"With Easter coming up it has me wondering. Is the Easter bunny a shell for big egg?"

"I must be emotionally constipated ...because I haven't given a shit in days"