139615

Joke of the Day

"My dad caught me smoking his cigarettes... He beat me until I was white and gold."

"You're supposed to pee on a Jellyfish sting and not a jelly stain? Well that was really embarrassing."

"What does a bee say before it stings you ? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you !"

"If the doorbell rings, its normal to drop, shimmy across the floor, press your body to the wall & not breath till the person is gone, right?"

"She often thinks about what life may have been outside the asylum, had the cashier refrained from putting her change on top of the receipt."

"I put my phone on airplane mode and now I can't bloody find it"

"What did the woman say when she was diagnosed with cerebal palsy? Nothing, she was too disabled to speak"

"What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh? I've never smeared tigger on my face"

"What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another? He experiences culture shock."

"I won't be getting any sex tonight but I beat level 15 on Bejeweled so its pretty much just as good."