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Joke of the Day

"If the doorbell rings, its normal to drop, shimmy across the floor, press your body to the wall & not breath till the person is gone, right?"

Next Joke
 
"First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn't turn a hair! Second boy: I'm not surprised - your dad's bald!"
"What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife? Only one shows an interest in the balls."
"Just sold my glove puppet collection. A collector called round and offered me 150 to take them off my hands."
"What do you call a drawing of Ketchup? Sketchup"
"A guy ate part of his own arm while tripping on acid. After he found out what he'd done, he shit himself."
"I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn't do it anymore."
"What do you call a fake shit? A sham poo"
"My eyes physically can't roll any higher up into my skull to show you how annoying you are."
"Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don't make a right. Tomorrow I'm going to try three."