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Joke of the Day

"What does a bee say before it stings you ? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you !"

"How do generals show their gratitude to their troops? They give tanks."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"My fellow Canadians, Complain about the heat just *once* and it will get taken away from us. Don't be the reason we can't have nice things"

"If a woman is bad at parking it's because she is constantly lied to about what 8 inches is."

"Why don't white supremacist drink the water in Central America? Because it's Nicaragua"

"""That's what"" -She"

"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

"/r/Pyongyang is a.... [Fun and Happy Place!]"

"Sometimes I wonder about those old mattresses in the alleys, the stories they could tell. The ones about me are lies of course."