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Joke of the Day

"So Jesus walks into a hotel he throws a bunch of nails on the counter and asks:"" hey, can you put me up for the night?"" (sorry, if repeat)"

"I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised."

"TIL there's a subreddit dedicated to all the times an OP doesn't deliver Link in the comments"

"What's small, gray, and came in little cans? Michael Jackson."

"a baby seal walks into a club.."

"Worst things the parents do in Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"

"Father in-law told me this gem: ""God made a woman..."" But didn't take one."

"Can February March? No. But April May. yep."

"Beginning to worry that, on my deathbed, I'm going to be just lying there, refreshing twitter."

"What could Boston Marathon Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race."