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Joke of the Day

"I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised."

"I'm not a professional photographer, I'm just a club photographer. I take pictures at the club & people pay me to delete them."

"What does Mr. T say when he walks into a buffet? I pity the full!"

"Telling somebody you love them is like telling them your dream from last night. You can explain all you want. They'll never understand."

"How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? Nobody knows it hasn't happened yet."

"Where did Mary go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?"

"-Honey, what made you fall in love with me? -Your mother. -But my mother lives 5000 miles away. -That's why..."

"If you start a conversation with ""you're gonna say I'm crazy"" there's nothing I can do but to congratulate you on your clairvoyance."

"What do you call an awkward questioner? I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God."