156441

Joke of the Day

"How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Just the two... but it takes a whole dedicated team at emergency to remove it."

"An M&M for 50 cent!? That's Ludacris!"

"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"""Oh hey there, didn't recognize you with your cap on,"" I say flirtatiously to my toothpaste."

"Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased"

"Just once I'd like to meet a person whose job is to make captchas so I can slap him in the face for making my life difficult."

"If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say ""congratulations on your first book!"""

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar... ...it was tense."

"What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do? A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!"

"I don't know why people dislike roman Numerals. I, for one, like them."