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Joke of the Day

"Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!"

"Where do Muslims go after they die? Everywhere"

"Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement."

"I feel there's still hope for this world every time my computer's spellcheck doesn't recognize Kardashian."

"TIL Doug Liman will be directing an adaptation of the Passion story for 2017, with Matt Damon as Jesus Christ. Bourne is the King of Israel!"

"Why aren't redheads very good R&B singers? Because they have no soul"

"TIFU. She was on top."

"What do u call a girl having no boyfriend?"

"Professor X can move objects with his mind If Professor X can move objects with his mind, why can't he make his legs move??"

"What's the purpose of propellers on a plane? To keep the captain cool. If they stop spinning, he starts to sweat."