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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to name my dog ""Syndrome"". Whenever he jumps on someone, I can yell, ""Down Syndrome!""."

"As my friend confessed, ""My teenage daughter never even talks to me,"" I struggled to conceal my jealousy."

"Holy crap what a wank... I really took a beating back there."

"Why did the atoms cross the road? It was time to split."

"Q: Did you know they are taking out all the K-Marts in Afghanistan? A: They are putting in TARGETS!!!"

"So I called my boss this morning. I said ""Hey boss, what's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"" He replied, ""I don't know. What?"" ""I won't be coming in this morning."""

"Parents: don't give your child the answers to his homework. He needs to learn on his own that you don't know what you're talking about."

"These coffee flavored rice cakes are delicious, but chewy. [eats another coaster]"

"The NSA A government organization that actually listens to you!"

"Orange Soda I've always dreamt of having a cock as long as a 2 litre bottle of orange soda, and just as wide. It's just Fanta-sea really"