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Joke of the Day

"Why did the atoms cross the road? It was time to split."

"Do you know what Pinocchio and your dad have in common? They were both inside a whale."

"Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"The village people asked all the wrong questions I mean... Why not MCA?"

"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors."

"I surveyed 50 women on what hair product they used in the shower. I never knew there was a brand called ""how the hell did you get in here?!'"

"Me: Goodnight Moon *Moon favs but doesn't reply*"

"My wife said that if I lose my job, she's divorcing me. So I need suggestions here, people. What are some terminable offenses these days?"

"What's black, blue, and hates sex? The five year old boy in my basement."

"How do you know a girl is into you? Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't."