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Joke of the Day

"What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"I have a light that gets sexually aroused by me. I turn him on."

"My old man got admitted to a psychiatric hospital today. He had set up a traffic detour through his house. I should have seen it coming, all the signs were there."

"Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away anything, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a mexican drug lord."

"Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean."

"What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy? Blunt Trauma"

"What do black people drink during the Holiday Season? Nignog"

"I'm working on a screenplay called '127 Seconds' about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube."

"I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery. None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea. Edit: So I come back to my joke and have no idea what happened..."

"what is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"