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Joke of the Day
"So two men walked into a bar... The third one ducked."
Next Joke
"*mob meeting* ayo new guywho're you? ""they call me the butcher"" oh yea? why's that, butch? *smacks him with a pork loin* ""no reason"""
"My password is Superman Hulk Thor Goku, that's the strongest password I can think of."
"Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us"
"Food has replaced sex in my life. I can't even get into my own pants."
"You can find me in the club, eatin' Cap'n Crunch I'm into having snacks, I ain't into making lunch"
"If storks deliver white babies and blackbirds deliver black babies, what bird delivers no babies? Swallows."
"In case you wondered, Fathers Day is to thank Dad for nailing your mother. Mothers Day is to thank Mom for not swallowing you"
"I'd like to thank my boyfriend for translating ""mucho"" for me It means a lot"
"My friends & I were taking shots every time Trump interrupted Clinton. My BFF Chad is dead :("