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Joke of the Day
"So two men walked into a bar... The third one ducked."
Next Joke
"Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There's no way to opt out of his email newsletters."
"How does Lil Wayne get inspiration for his new music? He listens to his old music."
"What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? Shut up."
"Twas the night before Christmas, all through the house not a creature was stirring not even my vodka martini because it's shaken not stirred"
"If Adrian Peterson is getting indicted for spanking his kid with a stick my mom should get the electric chair."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalottapuss! *credit goes to my brother-in-law who recently told me that one"
"my hipster wife is on her way to the hospital with severe burns in her mouth because she tried to to eat my lasagna before it was cool"
"kids can't play outside b/c of the miniscule chance they'll be kidnapped. at age 16 they get keys to a 2000-pound machine powered by fire"
"What is the opposite of paranoia? Thinking you are following someone."