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Joke of the Day

"Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There's no way to opt out of his email newsletters."

"I went to a shop and asked the cashier, ""can I have a KitKat Chunky?"" After the cashier came back with a KitKat Chunky, I gave it back to her, saying ""I wanted a regular KitKat, fatso!"""

"Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk."

"I asked my wife what to wear to this black tie event. She said ""When in Rome"". So, I'm going as a naked, terrified Christian. With a tie."

"I can hear two bug swatters having a huge argument nearby. I'd give anything to not be a fly on the wall."

"What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in."

"Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car? Because he had a cataract!"

"Sure is hard going to cinemas with dyslexia ""I'd like some uhh... cockporn please"""

"Women belong in the house... ...and the senate too"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I'm ok with a 5km but really don't like 10km."