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Joke of the Day

"kids can't play outside b/c of the miniscule chance they'll be kidnapped. at age 16 they get keys to a 2000-pound machine powered by fire"

"A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied ""The weather didn't agree with me."""

"My girlfriend told me I look ""uncool"" with a bike helmet on... Well you know I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during sex."

"Love' is picking up tampons at the supermarket for your girlfriend. True love' is inserting them."

"They say choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life... because that field probably isn't hiring."

"Reddit is really a Green Community, considering that the joke's on you."

"What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone? It was counter-inuitive."

"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)"

"I'm so thankful for my kids.If it weren't for them I'd never know what a cool sound my vacuum cleaner makes when it sucks up Rice Crispies."

"You can lead a horse to water... but jet fuel can't melt steel beams."