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Joke of the Day

"How many ""friend zone"" guys does it take to put in a light bulb? It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: Credits to Drougen for making it better."

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!"

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't pass this math class ""You held up 2 fingers just now"" Ok then give me that many reasons"

"I set up a trap to catch the tooth fairy but she caught on and placed my parents in the trap instead. what a tricky fairy. PS. i want my $1!"

"How do you get teh bee off the toilet? You piss it off."

"Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe."

"What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? A woman."

"I'm no gynecologist... But I can take a look."

"Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*"

"Did you hear about the group of people who stole a dozen boxes of Viagra? Police are looking for hardened criminals."