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Joke of the Day

"Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe."

"No Soap. Radio!!!"

"Me: A wise man once said... Wife: STOP QUOTING YOURSELF!"

"Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software."

"Why does it seem like 90% of Redditors are hardcore liberal atheists? Because the conservatives are at work."

"There is no more cake. This is my suicide note."

"I met a guy recently who was a really good runner, but could only win races in wet weather. They call him the Raining Champion."

"What does the rest of the colony call an old ant? An antique."

"What did Hitler say when he got a 10 kill streak? Get reiched."

"I think I've figured out Dr Who's first name Guess"