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Joke of the Day

"13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Carlsberg don't do Alzheimer's ... ... but they do make exceedingly good cakes."

"Lamar Odom suffered a dozen strokes... Tiger Woods is jealous of his low stroke count."

"Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"What do you call a door only used by prostitutes? Ho-dor"

"How many mathematician does it take to change a lightbulb? pi"

"A reddit mod walks into a bar [removed]"

"My friend told me he wanted to plant an orchard. I told him to grow a pear."

"Whiteboy who needs a haircut Justin Beiber in the front, Duck Dynasty in the back"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven acht nein."