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Joke of the Day

"Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"X says to Y : ""i feel so close to you, i feel like zero divides us"""

"Dinner party tip: Gluten allergies can easily be treated by not telling people they are consuming gluten."

"What does a 9 volt battery have in common with a girl's butt hole? You know you shouldn't, but sooner or later you're gonna give it a lick."

"Wearing shades inside makes me look cool, right? *Trips over the cat*"

"I've not smoked weed in two year, during that time I've completed sooooo much ...................... drunk"

"60% of African American girls agree to giving me a blowjob I guess you could call it a 3/5's compromise"

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."

"Bought some sneakers off of a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh."