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Joke of the Day

"[school] Ok class, what was Abraham Lincoln most famous for doing? Billy? ""Abolishing slavery."" And... ""Slaying vampires."" Very good."

"How do camels have sex in the desert? They dry hump."

"A sign language interpreter said to his customer... My apologies, my finger got stuck between the door so I may have a bit of a lisp."

"How many handles do a black dude's coffin have? Have you ever seen a dumpster with four?"

"The cops raided our house and set off my epilepsy... Talk about a search and seizure"

"Pretty awesome how you can buy chocolates on February 13th and everyone assumes you have a girlfriend & not a grudge w/ your neighbor's dog."

"Dave was hard at work It was really quite awkward for his female coworkers."

"A woman is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The male cashier says: ""You must be single."" He got fired."

"Two maggots were fighting in dead ernest, poor old Ernest."

"Fidel Castro is dead Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals."