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Joke of the Day

"So I ask my local librarian... If she had books on Pavlovs dog and Schrodingers cat. She said they rang a bell but dont know if they are there or not."

"Why can't Bill Gates get a girlfriend? Because his penis is Microsoft."

"The guest said to the cannibal Your wife makes a great soup. Yes, but I'll miss her."

"Why did the ant fall off of the toilet seat? He got pissed off"

"Why does having sex outside suck? NSFW Because of the fucking mosquitoes."

"The hardest part of being a congressman must be pretending to actually like the people where you're from."

"A teen walks into a girl scout meeting. They're learning how to tie different types of knots. The girl says ""Can I join you?"" They reply ""Can you knot?"""

"My internet addiction is so bad... Its alt of ctrl."

"An Irishman, An Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says, ""A beer please, and one for the road!"""