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Joke of the Day

"So I ask my local librarian... If she had books on Pavlovs dog and Schrodingers cat. She said they rang a bell but dont know if they are there or not."

"What's a pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken Chest with no booty"

"What did Jeffrey Dahlmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Excuse me are you going to eat that? *Ellen Barken on David Letterman show."

"""I can't believe it's not butter!"" could be a disappointed statement as well. I'd like the context before I buy."

"Sloth 911: What's your emergency [1 week later] Sloth: I'VE BEEN SHOT [1 week later] Sloth 911: DON'T MOVE! We'll be there in a month"

"Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon."

"Why did the algae end up at school? She wanted to buy an algae bra."

"All this 'Frozen' merchandise is just getting ridiculous. I was at the supermarket earlier and they've now got a whole bloody aisle just for Frozen stuff."

"Do you think Hitler got his inspiration from Hansel and Gretel? They did shove a long nosed witch into an oven."

"Drummer's joke I texted my old band today saying I miss playing music. They replied with ""What's new? You missed playing, when you were with us, man!"""