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Joke of the Day

"I thought of pick up line that only works on mexicans. Are you Mexican? Because I wanna get jalapeno."

"My wife tells me im always too negative Well, doesnt that make me a positive?"

"If I was in that Malaysian airplane my wife would find it in 10 minutes.."

"It's so annoying when I'm about to take a great photo and somebody calls my camera."

"[leaving HS reunion w/ date] Aren't you going to ask why everybody was calling me 'smelly boy' tonight? ""Seemed pretty clear I thought"""

"I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?"

"I don't care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!"

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo Drizzle.."

"Don't make fun of Kanye when he's talking to his reflection That would be two Yeezy"

"A man falls in love with a nun and they run away together... The church says it doesn't mind, as long as he doesn't get into the habit."