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Joke of the Day

"[leaving HS reunion w/ date] Aren't you going to ask why everybody was calling me 'smelly boy' tonight? ""Seemed pretty clear I thought"""

"""My microwave is broken"" -Abraham Lincoln"

"What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night? Piratechnics!"

"[NSFW] How do you mount your virtual girlfriend? With a hard drive bae."

"Did you hear about the Mexican racist? He joined the que que que."

"Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name."

"It's ridiculous that the pope has to go around surrounded by armed guards these days. I know he's a priest but he's not going to do anything out in public."

"I just brushed a whole tooth without looking at twitter"

"My mind's telling me ""No!"" But my body, my body's telling me ""There's that chicken salad in the fridge."""

"(NSWF) Whats funner than a dead baby A dead baby wearing a clown outfit"