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Joke of the Day

"They say the more you drink the higher your tolerance is, but that's bullshit because my friend's an alcoholic & he still hates gays."

"Dream Job My dream job is cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing."

"What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves? Russell."

"My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

"Two deaf guys... Two deaf guys, Ed and Harry, were hanging out talking, when Ed told Harry a joke. Harry laughed so hard he broke three fingers..."

"My 6 year old is telling me a story, oh wait, now he's 9."

"Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs."

"""let's put computers and keyboards in our cars. now let's go catch all the people typing on tiny keyboards in their cars"" - cops"

"Those magical three words you've been waiting so long to hear. Red, or white?"

"I guess you could say Mendeleev's Birthday comes around periodically."