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Joke of the Day

"My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

"ok boss, i duck taped the hostage's mouth shut ""you mean duct taped, right?"" um... *cuts to hostage with live mallard stuffed in his mouth*"

"CASHIER: One ultrathin lubricated condom. That'll be $3.25 DUCK: Can you put it on my bill? CASHIER: That's not where it goes, silly"

"This one will probably take a while to understand. What kind of grades did Hitler make in school? Not C's!"

"i started carrying a knife on me after an attempted mugging three years ago. since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't bother, he's not coming."

"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Did you know in the state of Kentucky, if you divorce your wife.... She just becomes your cousin"

"Patient goes to the doctor about his obesity... He says ""It's not my fault doctor, obesity runs in my family."" Doctor replies, ""No the problem is no one runs in your family."""

"Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid."