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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves? Russell."
Next Joke
"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"
"Why can't a hand be 12 inches long? BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!"
"The waiting list for the WiiU.... Just got shorter in Conneticut"
"I told my girlfriend I would get a picture of her on my new debit card... So that even if we break-up, she'll still be taking my money."
"The dish drainer is just my default cupboard."
"Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain Me: Deal"
"I respect the Secret Service They are the only law enforcement agency in the country that gets in trouble if a black man gets shot."
"Which is the longest toilet in the world? Indian Railways"
"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."