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Joke of the Day

"Gerard Butler: Can I get sugar? Waiter: This is sugar. *GB stands pissed* GB: THIS..IS...SPLENDA!! *GB kicks waiter through glass panel*"

"What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !"

"If twitter users are sued, lawyers will have to analyse over 4 giggs of data. Imogen that..."

"Did you ask her out? Yes. And? She only dates guys named Matt. Cause she likes to walk all over them? No, tattoo she can't afford to remove."

"What's a shopaholic's favourite boy band? NSYNC"

"What do you call a person with normal abs in a universe full of fat people Abnormal"

"The whole ""bad boy"" thing is fun until you have kids with him. Ooh you drank away the diaper money? That's soooo hot"

"Did you know there are only 24 letters in the NHS alphabet? There's no A&E."

"I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event... ...the words ""Just Do It"" would be everywhere."

"Which whale makes the best sexual partner? One that will humpback!"