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Joke of the Day

"I worry that if Nike sponsored a Suicide Prevention Day event... ...the words ""Just Do It"" would be everywhere."

"Rumor has it Pedals the upright walking bear has been killed by a hunter. But, remains unseen."

"M: What do you want for dinner? H: I don't care, you decide M: Sushi? H: No, but whatever. M: Mexican? H: Nah, but your call. He's dead now"

"How can Penn State fix their problem Rebrand themselves as the Catholic church."

"A priest and a rabbi see a 9-year-old boy walk by The priest says ""Should we fuck him?"" ""Out of what?"" the Rabbi replies"

"My sense of humor is a little crazy But the dragon rises into the potassium nitrate milkshake at sundown. It's a good day to be a helicopter."

"Why did Bill Nye crash his car? Because inertia is a property of matter."

"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in"

"Acid rain is total bullshit. I stood in it for hours and didn't even hallucinate one time."

"My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home"