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Joke of the Day

"How is being a pimp like being a farmer? You get some hoes and they get dough for you."

"The pig jumped into bed with my 6-year-old all by herself. It was super cute. Then the pig threw up all over her. Considerably less cute."

"Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle."

"What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite movie? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN"

"Guy walks into a DR's office with a duck on his head... Duck says ""Hey Doc an you get this guy off my ass"""

"I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous."

"An Irish man left the bar"

"What did the blond do with her asshole in the morning? Pack him a lunch and tell him to go to work!"

"It used to be when people would tell me to go to hell, I'd say I don't believe in hell. But then I got married. So now I just say, ""Been there, done that."""

"Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary? Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production."