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Joke of the Day

"What's the last thing you want to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"I didn't masturbate for over a year. That mistake blew up in my face."

"A guy walks into a bar... *clang!*... he says ""ouch"" and ducks next time."

"""This little computer"" said the sales clerk ""will do half of your job for you."" Studying the machine the senior VP said ""Fine I'll take two."""

"What do you call a five foot psychic that escapes from jail? A small medium at large."

"we put a man on the moon but we can't keep him there. he keeps coming back. you stay on the moon. you stay there."

"How can you tell retarded kids form the art students? Retards don't wear Black."

"Trump Alien Joke Trump claimed in a recent interview that he'd fund the search for alien life forms. He said he'd start by finding and deporting the ones in the U.S."

"This joke is a bit like sex ...hardly anyone here gets it."

"I barely slept last night; I kept dreaming about mufflers. I'm exhausted."