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Joke of the Day

"I woke up next to a girl this morning... She must have been absolutely wasted, she didn't know who I was, Although that may have been the Roofies I slipped in her drink."

"Interviewer asked me why I'd make a good waiter? Me: You could say I...bring a lot to the table."

"Few Saturdays I switch off the light and stay the whole night in darkness So that the neighbors might think that I've an active social life..."

"On a poster in my math class ""4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions"" The sad thing is my first thought was ""Oh good, I'm not alone!"""

"Turns out my date had a lot of pizzazz, not pizzas. I've never been more disappointed."

"No I LITERALLY want to butter your hot cherry muffin. A euphe-what? Listen to Miss Community College over there."

"My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology... ...Yet he is the one hooked to life support."

"Thank you student loans for getting me through college I don't think I can ever repay you."

"Just ordered a pizza from Papa Johns online ordering system & it asked me if I had any instructions for the driver. Yes, ""Bring weed, bro"""

"What sound does a frog make while jacking off? Rubbit Rubbit"