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Joke of the Day
"Why do lesbians shop at sport authority? Because they don't like Dick's"
Next Joke
"I know some folks who could use a 12 step program. Where 11 of those steps should be to the edge of a cliff."
"Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab? They were graduated"
"Me: I bet you die before you figure out how to text me back. *3 years later* Grandma: Fuck you bitch. Say bye to your inheritance"
"Listen up all you calendar owners Your days are numbered"
"Acid is like a woman. A good one will eat right through your pants."
"I removed electrons from a seal Got a seal-ion"
"What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo? About halfway across."
"Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser"
"I had an hour to kill so I watched the last two minutes of a basketball game today"