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Joke of the Day
"""I'm quite content on this side of the street, thank you."" -- No squirrel ever."
Next Joke
"""that's the power of German engineering"" is a great slogan for your product if you're selling fear"
"Sucks how Caesar died... ...Who knew he was allergic to knives?!"
"I like my women so intelligent that it takes me days to realize I was insulted."
"I'm supposed to be afraid of you because you are a twitter badass? What are you going to do, caps lock me?"
"Did you know the host of the Discovery Channel's show Dirty Jobs has 2 degrees? In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology."
"Pantsing people is fun but it sucks when you accidentally look deep into their butthole, thru the tip of their penis and out the other side."
"Knock knock..... Who's there? Interrupting terrorist. Interrupting terrorist w- Lololololollololololo (Bang)"
"DEAR ENTIRE WORLD: LIGHTENING IS WHAT BLEACH DOES TO HAIR. LIGHTNING IS WHAT I'M GOING TO STRIKE YOU WITH FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST SPELLING."
"What bring a dead duck back to life? A dead bullfrog."