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Joke of the Day

"Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself."

"I'm pretty certain I'll never be a serial killer, since I don't have a middle name."

"You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull."

"You're a Carrot I wish, I'd be easier on the eyes."

"How much sperm do gay guys have? A buttload"

"Just went too deep with a Q-Tip and now I can't do math."

"What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry? A Prontosaur."

"Como frijoles? How you bean?"

"I accidentally ate a piece of rope... I shit you knot"

"Of his generals, who did Hitler think was the least funniest? Hermann Boering!"