13825

Joke of the Day

"When she says she prefers the strong, silent type she means her vibrator."

"What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common? They both work in gastronomy"

"Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life."

"Ray Rice. Michael Vick. And now Adrian Peterson. Congratulations, NFL. Your woman/children/animal abuse trifecta is officially complete."

"I missed a call from a girl last night... I missed a call from a girl last night. I called her back, she said she must've butt dialed me. I said, ""Maybe your butt knows what it wants."""

"Just went to a really emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers"

"Some guy changed all his pass words to 'incorrect' so his computer can tell him the right pass word if he gets it wrong"

"I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars"

"Operators are standing by. Untold numbers of them. In shadows. The forest grows dark with operators."

"I guess George Lucas is not a Scrabble fan. It's R1 D2."