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Joke of the Day

"I have a job helping a one armed man type capitals. It's shift work."

"Why did Moe finally decide to kill of Homer Simpson's son? he realized he was a Bartender"

"Sometimes I look down at my cleavage and I'm like, ""wow!"" ""That's where the rest of that cookie went!"""

"Green men make me cross."

"What do you call a wookie in concentration camp? Jewbacca"

"*in-flight announcement* A SNICKERS IS JUST A MARS BAR WITH PEANUTS *struggling noises* PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KN-"

"I don't know how you women do it. Every time I try to ""sleep my way to the top"" I get woken up and sent to HR."

"the next time u see a fork in the road, just try to remeber that at least, no mater wat u did, u werent the person who tried to eat the road"

"10 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date,. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"Why is ""fuck you"" an insult? I mean, i fuck my self every day"