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Joke of the Day

"Why is ""fuck you"" an insult? I mean, i fuck my self every day"

"I received the oddest dollar bill as change. When I looked closely, I noticed that George Washington was wearing face-paint, a wig, and round, red nose. It was obviously a clownterfeit."

"Chuck Norris can speak braille."

"Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company"

"Border patrol: Why do you have 100s of DVDs of Top Gun stuffed into your seat cushions Me: *sweating* BP: They aren't even illegal"

"I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them."

"A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh and then I punched her in the face."

"I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar."

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog because he shuts up after you let him in."

"Want to hear a good pee joke? Well urine luck."