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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I look down at my cleavage and I'm like, ""wow!"" ""That's where the rest of that cookie went!"""

"I can't believe I got fired from my job at the DNA testing facility. After all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in."

"I'm boycotting terrorism From now on I'm drinking all of my whiskey neat, no more ISIS"

"What's a golf club's favorite type of music? Swing!"

"A cowboy walks into a gay bar... He says to the bartender, ""I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls."" The bartender replies ""Moo?"""

"Recently developed melanoma on my cheek, so I quickly went to the dermatologist. Turns out I just fell asleep on a chocolate chip."

"Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!"

"Can we protest for a revote on People magazines Sexiest Man Alive? I think Steve Buscemi didn't get the attention he deserved"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's now working in pest control... He's an ex-terminator."

"what did the peanut say to the squirrel ??? he said im hungry and I'm as tired as a tree"