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Joke of the Day

"What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf? A creature that sucks blood from your knees."

"Whats the difference between a gorilla and a guillotine? No one gets their dick out for a guillotine"

"The test results came back, and Frodo's wife can't have a baby. She's non-hobbit forming."

"Some men are born to greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them. Me? I like waffles."

"To people calling themselves ""Grammar Nazis"": you're not correcting grammar so much as punctuation or spelling. Hi, I'm a Nomenclature Nazi."

"[gym] Trainer: You here to get cut? Me: Uhh no, I'm already circumcised and if that's covered under my membership, I want a reduced bill"

"The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about."

"We got a tornado warning, and I'm too scared to open my windows. Don't want any sharks in my house."

"I saw a gay midget the other day I thought wow that's a little queer"

"How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes? Like a Bosch!"