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Joke of the Day

"HOBBIES INCLUDE: - Whispering dark secrets to animals - Trying to get a strawberry seed out of my teeth - Being vegan, but also eating steak"

"What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR"

"Why do Yoda's jokes always suck? Says the punch line first, he does."

"Today I've decided to rename things in the office to start with ""i"" like Apple. There's iStapler, iPostitnotes, iWishitwasfriday..."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walked...... J.k. Rolling!"

"Have you heard of that movie, ""Constipation""? It's not out yet."

"How did Helen Keller lose her arm? Trying to read the road signs!!!"

"What's the difference between a blowjob and anal sex? One makes your day and the other makes your hole weak."

"I gave every penny I had to the homeless guy the other day! Now I just have 20 $100 bills in my purse!"

"What is the useless skin around the vagina called? The woman"