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Joke of the Day

"A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor I have yellow teeth what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie!"

"My Grandfather... My grandfather covered himself in lard a month before his death... After that he went downhill very quickly."

"*wife grabs my wrist as I go overboard* Her: You're... slipping... Me: Pretend I'm the covers. *she easily pulls me to safety with one arm*"

"Did you hear about that car company having to shut down? It was a saab story."

"Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses? Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me."

"How do you know if your room mate is gay? his dick tastes like shit"

"Crabs always look like they're walking themselves out of an awkward situation ...."

"According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole."

"Q: Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: He was hit by a bus"

"Ask a man if he's critiquing your work... Men Who Are Dating say: No, & compliment you. Single Men say: Yes Married Men: Try to hide"