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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the football player that went to prison ? He went from being a tight end to being a wide receiver"

"Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? (First) He kept getting nailed to the boards."

"Cop: Reason I pulled you over was you were swerving Me: Sorry was tryin to catch a Pokemon Cop: Which one!? I mean let me see your license"

"TIL John Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife dies so he wrote Paradise Regained."

"My ex left me for an attorney. It makes me smile every day to know he hasn't won an arguement for 15 years."

"What's the worst thing when being told you have Alzheimer's? It doesn't just happen the once."

"How do you make Ben Carson yell? Watch a movie with him."

"Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application."

"What do you call a fat lady that can tell your future? A four-chin teller"

"Every time I'm at a friend's house I look at the ceiling & say ""You like to watch, don't you.."" so I look cool if they have a hidden spy cam"